Large Hadron Collider Vs. An Easy Bake Oven

Large Hadron ColliderEasy-Bake Oven
Makes mini black holesMakes mini chocolate or yellow cakes
Requires 1.8 exowatts of powerShould not exceed 75w bulb
Toroidal LHC ApparatusLightbulb in a cardboard box
Cannot make methMakes meth
Could destroy the universe if improperly set.Fire hazard. Keep away from drapery.
$4.3 billion in construction costs, $1 billion annual operating costs$29.95 new, $59.95 vintage plus $.41 per cake.
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Pros and Mostly Cons of Being a Liquid

Con – Hard to dress up for formal or any occasions

Pro – Determined, strong-willed, incompressible

Con – Keep getting asked to rinse or dissolve things

Pro – Comfortably employed as a rinser and/or dissolver

Con – Letting off steam can be fatal

Con – Constant filtering; will you ever be clean again?

Con – Nobody wants to take you hiking

Pro – You represent the unconscious mind

Con – The other states of matter don’t trust you


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