Heaven means different things to different people. For Buddhists, heaven means not having to deal with this nuissance we call existance. Christians, at least 'round these parts, think heaven is some place where you get to play with your dog again and go fishing everyday. Jews receive a detailed printout of every bad choice they ever made, then go live in a gated community where no one messes with them. But everyone agrees on one thing, heaven means never having to flush a toilet!
Luckily you don't have to die or even believe in a higher diety to experience the flush free lifestyle. All you need to do is enroll your toilet in The Rag Toilet Network. Read a transcription of what these members had to say:
"Since signing my toilet up with the Toilet Network, I haven't even thought about flushing the toilet. It really allows me to focus on other things, like not getting any on my hand."
- Colber Albertsson, 35, Financial Advisor
"Installation was a breeze. Even I had all the right hardware."
- Evelyn DiCastano, 44, recent divorcee
"They even diagnosed my hemroids for me!"
- Leila, 22, bartending student
"They talk you through everything. I can tell The Rag really cares about flushing toilets. Though sometimes I miss being able to flush when and as often as I want to."
- Len Barker, 21, Car Wash Owner
The Rag Toilet Network is the world's only centrally managed toilet flushing service. So-called automatic toilets use flimsy motion sensors or easily tricked timers to flush your toilet. Our Toilet Network relies on a team of highly trained technicians watching your toilet over IP enabled webcams. Every time you use your Network enabled toilet, a technician is on the other end, looking for signs that you need a flush. And our technicians undergo a rigorous 6 month training program so they know when you need a flush.
Installation is simple, just 15 minutes for the average user. Installation kit includes, signal-activated flushing piston, Logitech Quickcam Chat and all the necessary attachments and hardware. Sign up now and receive a free copy of Roland McHugh's Annotations to Finnegans Wake.
You deserve a little bit of Heaven. Join The Rag Toilet Network.
- Set your spririt free
