Walt Whitman Cloned By Mistake

Researchers at SUNY, Stony Brook have confirmed rumors that they have cloned Walt Whitman. But, the researchers add, the cloning is unintentional. "We get clones of Whitman all the time. It seems like every time we start replicating DNA samples, we end up with a partially working copy of the great American poet. It's kind of weird," explains Albe Knutt, Professor of Biochemistry. The cloning phenomena has also been oberved by scientists from Cornell, Columbia and Tulane. Whitman died in 1892.

"I work with forest mold. I collect a lot of mold DNA. I'd say about 40% of the samples I collect are contaminated with strands of Walt Whitman's complete genetic code. I understand he's from Long Island, but I don't know how his DNA got all over this forest," continues Dr. Knutt.

The mystery will have to take a back seat to more pressing matters, however. The question remains, what do you do with all the Walt Whitmans? "Most of the clones are not viable," says Lucy Hochman, a fellow at Cornell's School of Biological Engineering. "We just throw those away. Some of them are alive but severely disabled. They need constant attention. One actually grew into a complete adult. He left the lab to explore his poetic nature. We think he's in Manhattan somewhere."

The answer to how Whitman's DNA became so prevelant perhaps lies not with science but with literature. Whitman scholar Mary Beth Jozelle thinks she knows. "Have you ever read 'Children of Adam'? Walt Whitman had an insatiable lust for life. I'm not surprised his DNA is all over the eastern seaboard. I am surprised it survived this long. That's one tough DNA!"

I Am He That Aches with Love
I am he that aches with amorous love;
Does the earth gravitate? does not all matter, aching, attract all matter?
So the body of me to all I meet or know.

From 'Children of Adam', Leaves of Grass, 1892



Upcoming: Part II, Whitman Clone Discovered